


The Mysterious Origins of the Common Cold

by alynshir



Series: she is my tomorrow [3]
Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: F/F, Friendship, Hard In Hightown, Humor, Illness, Multi, Romance, Sera Is Annoying, Storytime, Varric and Sera brotp for the win
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-12 23:16:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2128143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alynshir/pseuds/alynshir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Half the people in the Keep are sick within two days, thanks to the accidental release of a lovely cold by none other than resident scientist Inquisitor Solange Lavellan. The only trouble is - how did it get from Solange's study to half the Inquisition? And how much of the story is Solange censoring?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Dragon Age.
> 
> Ugh, this is just a ton of fun to write. ^.^

"I really am sorry," Solange fretted, wringing her hands. "It was an accident." 

"How do you accidentally make the world's strongest cold?" Varric griped, pulling his blanket closer around him irritably. 

"Yeah, and you just so happen to be immune to it," Sera added, scowling and then sneezing violently into a rather grimy handkerchief. "Pentagay's got the worst of it, she can't even leave your office, so if demons erupt into the Keep, we're all bloody screwed."

"Hey," Iron Bull protested weakly. "I could still kill demons. Easy." 

"You sound like a goose honking," Sera pointed out, wiping at her already quite red nose. "If you can even lift your axe right now, you can launch me over the next horde of templars, promise."

The qunari's visible eye lit up with excitement and he reached for his weapon, only to groan and retreat back into his cocoon of blankets. Sera rolled her eyes and then sneezed again.

"How did it begin, anyway?" Solas wondered idly from the chair besides the fire. "Nearly half the Keep is sick and it's been barely two days. You had most of us quarantined in your chambers by the first day, and yet it still spread."

Solange's cheeks grew slightly flushed, and she inched a bit closer to the roaring fire - something wildly out of character for one who feared the element so. Varric and Sera gave each other a confused look; they were well aware of the Dalish elf's phobia.

"Well..."

~•~

She wasn't sure how it had happened. This time, at least. Last time it had been because someone had decided to hang mistletoe over the door. And the time before that it was because apparently Solange had a piece of hair in her face that needed to be moved but then was forgotten moments later. She did recall she had been in the midst of some experiment prior to it...

But now she was pushed against her desk as lips devoured hers, crushing her mouth and positively controlling it. Something shattered to the ground, but Solange paid it no mind because her hands had come to rest on Cassandra's hips, pulling the other woman flush to her and a gasp escaping her as Cassandra's lips abruptly leapt to her neck -

"Inquisitor?" Josephine's voice called through the closed door. "You are late for your next appointment, Sister Leliana was insistent you be on time."

The pair broke apart, their breathing a tad ragged, the Seeker straightening her armor and Solange pushing stray wisps of hair behind her ears.

"I will be right there," she called hurriedly, cringing when her voice cracked. Cassandra chuckled.

"I should go," the Seeker said, clearing her throat.

"Yes, I - me too," Solange agreed, her cheeks burning. "I - um...yes. Uh..."

Cassandra looked suspiciously close to saying something earth-shattering, but instead of saying whatever was on her mind, her eyes darted to something behind Solange.

"Something broke," she said, moving towards it. Solange glanced over - one of her experimental dishes had cracked open. Her dizzied mind, still vaguely focused on Cassandra's lips, couldn't register what had perhaps been in that glass.

"You go, I will clean it up, Inquisitor," Cassandra said, all airs of formality suddenly returned, and Solange's forehead wrinkled in momentary confusion before she heard Josephine's voice, no longer through a door but quite present in the room.

"Inquisitor, Sister Leliana is in a foul mood today, I would have been there twenty minutes ago."

"Sorry, I'm sorry -! I'm going!"

She turned to Cassandra as Josephine slipped out of the room, kneeling down to gently nudge the Seeker away from the broken glass before she could touch it.

"I've got it, it is fine. I need to clean up my own messes," she said, easily scooping up the damp shards and dropping them into a basket of junk. Cassandra made to protest, but Solange silenced her with a quick peck.

"Will I see you later?" Solange asked hopefully, watching as the warrior headed for the door. Cassandra lingered for a moment, and then a small smile crossed her lips.

~O~


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for my French mangling. So so sorry.

"So, you and the Seeker were having a discussion on search-and-find, and you broke something?" Solas summarized. Solange nodded quickly.

Varric snorted, then sneezed, and then mumbled, "Yeah, more like, can the Seeker search-and-find the Inquisitor's -"

Thankfully, someone sneezed again, relatively loudly, and whatever Varric had to say was cut off and rendered inaudible. 

"Yes, that is what happened," Solange agreed to Solas. "And I suppose the object that shattered must have been the bacteria sample I had taken from someone in one of the sick villages..."

"Hold up," Sera honked, sniffling. "You brought some bloody germ into your office for shits and giggles?"

"No, it wasn't for laughing and dung! That's ridiculous - it was for science!" Solange protested. "I didn't mean for it to get out!"

"But wait, it was in a dish? So was it not airborne?" Doran inquired, dabbing at his nose from his position draped across one of the nearly unbearably squishy couches.

"No, it was waterborne," Solange confirmed. "That's how I managed to figure out what happened after."

"So since Cassandra cleaned it up, she accidentally got the bacteria water all over her hands," Varric surmised.

"Well..."

"And then what?" Dorian interrupted.

~O~

Cassandra sighed discontentedly to herself, sitting back in her chair. This map was making no sense! What idiot had planned this out? Surely it hadn't been her or Leliana. Leliana did have her obscenely ditzy moments, but they never, never interfered with strategical maneuvers. It was probably Cullen, she decided. This was the dumb kind of move he'd make. Cassandra groaned and reached for the half-full glass of water on the desk. Before more than a drop could make it down her throat, however, the door to her study crashed open.

"Bonjour, Ma-dayum Pentaghast," Sera declared, standing in the doorway casually. "Jay voh-drah un bon ham duh nage?"

Cassandra didn't even want to turn around.

"Please stop butchering Orlesian," she said exasperatedly. "You already nearly ruined Antivan for Ambassador Montilyet, please do not ruin Orlesian for half the people here. Do you even have any idea of what you said?"

Sera pranced over to Cassandra, half-throwing herself across the desk. Cassandra noted with some irritation that the archer had somehow got her grubby hands on one of Vivienne's horned hats.

"I dunno what I said, but who cares? I sound like a damn class act," Sera said. Cassandra scowled at her, setting down her water glass after taking a decent sip.

"What are you in here for, Sera?" the Seeker asked tiredly. Sera shrugged. 

"Dunno. You're kinda easy to pester and Vivienne ain't here," she explained. In the span of a second, she reached across Cassandra, snatched the water goblet, and gave the Seeker a spontaneous, smacking kiss right on the mouth. Cassandra shoved her away, her face screwing up in disgust.

"Thanks for the water, Pentaghast!" Sera cried cheerily, and without another word, she danced out of the room.

Cassandra put her head in her hands. Damn elves.


	3. Chapter 3

"So, Cassandra got water and Sera stole it," Solas said, trailing off thoughtfully. "Hmmm."

Sera grimaced. "Yeah, my bad. Sorry, lot."

Varric leaned in closer to Sera.

"But wait, didn't you dump a cup of water out the window?" he murmured. "I could've sworn I saw you do that and splash it all over the leaving apostates from Llomerryn."

Sera thought about it for a moment, and then her eyes widened.

"Yeah, you're right," she agreed, responding in a whisper. "So if it was in that water, and I didn't drink it or even really touch it, how could I have gotten sick?"

"So how did we all get it after Sera ran away with the water? And how did you know that it was in fact in the order of you, to Cassandra, to Sera?" Dorian questioned. Solange's green eyes lit up.

"Well, you see, when diagnosing you all with the same illness, I was able to see how long the germ had been active in your systems, and who had the most advanced stages of bacteria, and therefore I was able to see who had contracted it first."

Solas nodded in understanding, while Sera just raised her eyebrows, her expression bordering on suspicious with a healthy dose of confusion.

"So who got it next?" Solas asked. Solange's eyes darted to Varric, and Sera snickered, which promptly turned into a sneeze. 

"I can explain that one," Sera said, sending Varric an amused look.

~O~

"How can you eat that much?" Varric asked from the doorway of the mess hall. Sera lifted her head up from her pile of half devoured chicken drumsticks, scowling half in irritation, half in pain.

"Because I've got a right proper sized stomach," she grumbled, dropping her head back down to the table. "You've got a tiny dwarf stomach. Can't do much with that."

Varric approached the table warily, tugging at one of the barely touched drumsticks, with only one reluctant bite taken out of it. Sera made some sort of pained growling sound but let him steal it.

"It's suited me rather well in the past," he said casually, taking a small bite out of the lukewarm meat. Sera eyed him dubiously as he chewed.

"Don't tell Cassandra I ate all this," she mumbled. "She'll get mad and break my nose again."

"Again?" Varric inquired curiously.

"Last time it was because I saw her reading one of your books and then wouldn't stop teasing her about it."

"She reads my books?"

"Shit. Forget I told you that."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed, so far! Lemme know what you think!


End file.
